Inner Voice

Why do you place this thing from the depths of the earth before me?
Why does it sit upon my lap?
Have you no knowledge of my will?
Surly this thing is a blinding light to a sensitive eye,
But only a man who wishes to be consumed will proclaim it ravishing.
We do not say to love, “Ravish me.”
Nor do we invite into our house,
A thing that means to tarnish and deceive.
The Lord has granted me sight to see,
Surly you know his purpose.
Why does it charm?
Must you place this lie upon my heart?
If you mean me no harm,
What is this tag with printed numbers attached to your arm? Continue reading

Marriage & Rainbows?

Marriage, by the American dictionary definition is: 1 the formal union of a man and a woman, typically recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife. 2 a combination or mixture of two or more elements.
As you can see it clearly states between man and woman or two or more elements. So unless you would like to identify yourself or be identified as an element rather than a person, same sex marriage is not an option.
By biblical standards it is simply the joining of man and woman. In fact intersexual human marriage is considered an abomination.

Everyone knows that rainbows occur when light passes through small droplets of water and bounces around. Everyone also knows that on average people are 65% water and light cannot pass through our bodies unless of course God permits it to.
The scientific explanation of a rainbow is a rainbow is almost an entirely mathematical event. It’s based solely on the position of the sun relative to the observer, and as such, has no physical location to speak of. This strange phenomenon comes from the diffraction of light through water, and is one of the most impressive and awe-inspiring sights in nature, due to its complexity, and lack of a non-complex explanation.
You see it is clearly a phenomenon, a God send that can not be 100% scientifically explained.
We also know that closeted gay people historically used bright colors to signal their homosexuality to each other. Which is how the rainbow became a symbol of gay pride.
Again, exploitation in secrecy and deception of a God send.
Yet a few days ago our Whitehouse publically  bore a rainbow flag in support of the recent laws passed to legalize gay marriage. Does this not go against everything we know to be true and just not only as Christians but as human beings who can clearly see that even the simple explanation of a single word is being altered to suit our own personal fleshly desires?
To our mislead non believers this is perfectly acceptable as it glorifies free will. What they don’t understand is that  glorifying a God given right above glorifying God himself is in turn an abomination because it is initially abandoning Gods guidelines. It is abandoning what we are. I do not suppose we should be ungrateful or abandon our God given rights of free will, as doing so would make me a hypocrite. I am no such thing, in fact I despise hypocrisies.  Free will is not intended to support the justification of bended rules. Free will is intended to allow us to learn from our mistakes that we may ask for forgiveness and glorify our Heavenly Father. Yet we continue to mislead ourselves into believing we are in control of our own fait. Listen, if it were possible that our free will could dictate our own fait there would be nothing but illness, poverty and death for as long as it takes for us to destroy ourselves and every living thing on earth.  If this were possible nothing on this earth would survive past a single day. If this was possible the only living thing on earth would be one God and one God alone. The Most High, and absolutely nothing else would live as it was in the beginning before your big bang theory.

Please understand I am not God I am made in his likeness as are you regardless of how you identify yourself.  Though I love my brothers and sisters in Christ still, I do not wish to disgrace  my God therefor I can not support gay marriage. I can only support love. So if you come to me and say to me I am a woman in love with another woman I will say to you, that is fine she is your sister do not disrespect yourselves in that truth and if you do so repent in the name of Jesus who will grant you forgiveness in the eyes of Our Father and make you new as have I, its as simple as that. No not I nor He will disown you less the day of judgment comes and you have not repented. So I must advise you to do so now while you still can.

Break The Chains

Addiction is a demonic force that you have invited into your body and soul. The only place it cannot enter is your spirit as long you’ve been saved. Your spirit is where the triune of the God Head lives within you once you proclaim your salvation through the blood of Jesus.  For as long as you remain an unbeliever or unsaved your spirit can and will be tarnished whether you know and believe this or not its the truth by law of the creator. The demonic force of addiction holds the door open for other demonic forces such as anger, guilt, depression, vanity and just about any and every evil thing you submit to under the influence of well,  pure evil. Please understand you are both flesh, (body and soul) and spirit,(God). These three are each separate  from the other.
Your soul, though it is connected to your body, is separate from your flesh just as your spirit is separate from your body and soul.   Simply put your soul is who you are personality wise which is what makes it interchangeable with your spirit.  Your spirit is the God you serve within you which can also be interchangeable with your body and soul if you alternate your service or commitment from one God to another.

Once you commit to serving the one true Jehovah God your fleshly ways begin to diminish. You will only be totally 100% forever free of all flesh and sin when you are lifted into heaven. Still, your sins, past present and future are forgiven whipped clean through the salvation provided to you by Jesus whenever you wish to acknowledge him.  That is the desires of your body dwindle the more you cling to, (serve) worship, (honor and glorify) The Creator. Your spirit then grows to over rule your body and soul if you allow it to. The same is true for which ever God you serve except only the one true God can command your spirit, body and soul at any given time as he is the creator. Only The Son Of God will grant you forgiveness by Our Father.  The Creator has given all spirits the right to enter you as you wish. This is what we call free will. So then if you’ve allowed yourself to be enslaved by the demonic force of addiction along with any and or all demonic force that enters your body and soul and continue to serve it rather than rebuke it you are in turn allowing demonic possession of your body and soul.
Again demons can not touch your spirit if you are saved however, being saved does not mean you are guaranteed to be free of possession. Nor does harboring an addiction signify that you are 100% possessed or influenced by evil. It does however signify that you are pretty much allowing yourself to be or inviting evil to influence your body.

When you allow the possibility of possession you are handing out rights to your wellness and how you interact with the physical world we live in to earth bound evils. This is a God given right. Does this sound crazy to you? If so then you should know that I’m writing this because you like myself needed clarity.  The good news is you can be saved, redeemed and you can be free of addiction or whatever evil posses you. Have you heard the phrase come as you are? This is the one true God, creator of all living things inviting you to salvation and freedom through his gift of grace, Jesus. Continue reading

Testimony


 I come from a traditional Italian Roman Catholic family, so religion was a huge part of our upbringing. My mother’s sole primary general education, along with all her siblings and her eldest son of 9 years, had been acquired through a Catholic school system in Sicily, Italy. Attending a Catholic school system was not only traditional in Sicily, but it was also mandatory by tradition. When my family and I migrated to the United States in 1977, having left our home country and being unaware of any Catholic school system, my mother was adamant that my siblings and I would immediately attend Sunday Mass at a local Catholic church in Buffalo, New York. My parents however, would never attend. As a child, I never understood why she thought it so important that her children attend Sunday Mass or why she forced us to attend CCD (Confraternity Of Christian Doctrine) class.  I remember distinctively questioning my mom as to why she was so adamant that her children became educated practicing Catholics, while she showed no such commitment.

 Please understand, my mother was still very much Catholic and her faith has never faltered. Her marriage to my father was somewhat arranged and forced upon her by her traditional family values.
You see, in those days it was believed that once you were engaged to a man it was the equivalent of being married under the eyes of God.

Prior to her engagement she lived a very sheltered life under the constant protection and eyes of her family. She would tell me stories of her teen years in Sicily and how much fun she had engaging in activities with her siblings and friends. She said she was never allowed to do anything alone without at least one or all of her siblings present. Sometimes she wasn’t even aloud outdoors on her front porch without her father by her side.
Hearing these stories made me wish our family was just as close or even partially as close as she described. If you ask her she would tell you that although their intensions were good, she believes that her family’s constant watchful eye was unhealthy.  She was very obedient and faithful to her family, their traditions, her husband and children under the Doctrine of Catechism.
My mother was 18 years of age and had no interest in men nor marriage at the time that she was introduced to my father.
My father whom lied about his age to her entire family was 32 when they engaged.
 Soon after their engagement my parents moved into a very small apartment in Italy. They were very poor and didn’t have much to live off of.  My mother quickly began to discover the many lies my father had told her and her family regarding his background. She also discovered his abnormal ungodly behavior. She had confided in her eldest sister coming to her with concern and fear that my father was not some one she should marry. My aunt believed my mother and made it her mission to reveal the truth about my father to my grandparents in the hope that this would relieve her sisters commitment to my father.
Unfortunately, aside from the beliefs my mothers family harbored on engagement as stated above, they also believed that once you are engaged it was for better or worse just as in marriage.
This meant that my mother was morally and physically committed to this engagement. Being obedient lead my mother to premarital  pregnancy and according to tradition she had no choice but to marry my father despite her disapproval of him.

My mother unemployed and pregnant, spent most of her time at her parents home where she felt safe, supported, welcomed and loved.
They now had 3 children, myself being the youngest and only girl. Although things were tough on my mother, she found  security and stability within such a godly family near by to support her through her trials with my father.
I’m uncertain of what it was that propelled my parents to migrate to the United States but when they did things changed for the worse.
My mother no longer had a second home as she had in Italy with her parents. She and my father rented the upstairs home of my uncles two family house in Buffalo. With my uncle, his wife and 3 children residing in the first floor of the house, my mother thought she would be safe here as well. As it turned out she wasn’t as safe as she had hoped to be.
With less family around to keep a close watch, my fathers behavior and alcoholism increased in severity.
My youngest brother had arrived amidst the abuse my mother was enduring. My father lost many jobs, friends and eventually we moved to Massachusetts.
At a very young age my siblings and I had began to become accustomed to feeling like outcasts in society due to my fathers uncontrollable behavior.

I was 5 when we moved out of New York to Massachusetts and this was were my mother enrolled me into CCD.
I recall being so upset about the move because we always had family around.  Here, there was no family.
With no outside distractions or intervention, I began to take notice of my fathers behavior.
One night in particular that has always haunted me into my adult years was the night I heard my father raping my mother.
I did not understand what was happening but I understood enough to know by the sounds of what I was hearing that this was not normal.
My mother seemed to have been in a lot of pain. She was crying and pleading with my father to stop.
She kept crying out, “I don’t want to please stop”).  I heard her cries over my fathers grunting yet calm voice, “Come on just lye still and let me do this.” The sound of him struggling to restrain her was what initially woke me out of my sleep.  Hearing the grunts and cries,
my instincts had me calling out to my parents, while my fear kept me frozen and seated upright in my bed.
I was in a bedroom directly beside my parents bedroom. I shared that bedroom with my youngest brother who woke in his bed at the sound of my calls.
He was so young he has no memory of this at all as far as I know.
I called out, “I’m thirsty, can you get me a drink?” I remember feeling so anxious, fearful yet, compelled to do something to make whatever was happening in my parents bedroom stop.
It didn’t stop until he was finished and I never got my glass of water.
I spent the rest of that night curled up in a ball in my bed so frightened, confused and worried about my mom.
I realized later it wasn’t the first or last time this happened.

As I grew older their were plenty more incidents of violence and alcoholism in our home to witness. There was nothing ungodly or inhumane that my father wouldn’t or hadn’t done. He did everything from exposing himself to stealing from markets to beating his wife and children.
This left me with the inability to focus or concentrate on anything other than fear of what was to come. I struggled in school and had difficulty making friends. I used art and my imagination as a release. I remember going to the back yard of our apartment to get away from whatever sadness was happening in our home.
There was this huge valley in the back left side of our apartment that I would sit at the top of and imagine I was somewhat of a Snow White. I would sing and imagine that something magical was happening. As I got older I would rely on my creativity as an escape.
I danced, sang and decorated my bedroom with images, ribbons as well as barrow my families clothing to express my self through fashion.
I was never a rebellious child by any means. In fact, if you were to question my mother on my behavior she would say that I was an extremely well behaved most obedient child. She tells a story of a very quiet, soft spoken, little 4 year old girl who would come to her mother with her little hands out in front of her whispering, ” I’m sorry mama I know I was wrong, smack my hands.” Though I may have been obedient, I was also extremely inquisitive. She would also tell you that it wasn’t until I hit 16 years of age that I suddenly became very rebellious and  that I would not listen!

Continue reading

The Dove

977a1fe0be2e66096fca9f523d4253d7

Compiled of beautiful chaos is the face of madness and love.
In mid space she inhales her last breath taking it all in.
Harboring light in the dimmest of places, never purging herself of its peace.
Pure and white is the dove.
With wings spread wide across a blood red sky, she soars above, breaking through the blistering heat of this fight.
Leading you with blurred vision, withered weary arms and forked tongs to lucidity, potency, integrity, in flight to infinite heights.
~Giuseppinna Zappulla